A Parable of Glasses
It's all in the lens
~A Parable of Glasses ~
Denis Glass liked to joke that he needed his wife to see the world clearly because together they were “The Glasses.” Denis had many corny jokes like this, but they didn't seem to bother his wife. Denis worked at a wind turbine company, and his colleagues were not as appreciative of his humor. Denis was, in fact, a very smart man, but most people did not pick up on this because of his perpetually cheerful attitude. It is an unfortunate fact of life that when a person is regarded as “optimistic,” they are shuffled aside into the politely passive aggressive category of “simpleton.”
In Denis’s defense, he had married Alesha, so he had much to be optimistic about. They met by accident when Denis was out in the field helping set up a new turbine, and Alesha was buying organic produce from the local farm co-op. He’d lost his way and stumbled onto an open field where Alesha had been inspecting zucchini and other squash. The two had quickly fallen into a conversation about how nature had already solved many of humanity’s problems, if only they would take the time to study their world.
“Hello, my beauteous one,” Denis said, backing into their bedroom with a breakfast tray. Today was their one-year anniversary.
“Mmmnahh,” Alesha mumbled, before hissing, “it’s too bright!”
"A lovely day for us," Denis said, sitting on the bedside and setting the tray on her lap. He'd placed a begonia blossom on the tray and wondered if Alesha would remember it was the same flower she’d worn in her hair on their wedding day. Alesha went straight for the coffee.
“You made toast. That’s sweet. Is that strawberry jam?” Alesha asked, inspecting the toast down the end of her nose. “I would have preferred the apricot.”
“No matter, I’ll make you some more,” Denis said, snagging the offending toast and taking a bite of it himself. He didn’t see what was wrong, the strawberry was lovely. Besides, she had bought the strawberry and the apricot jam, and since Denis had requested neither he had assumed she preferred both.
Denis took another large bite, buying time to collect himself. There had been many such revelations about his wife over the last 365 days of being married. It was almost as though Alesha went out of her way to find things to upset her. He could bet that if there was some crack in the sidewalk, she would trip over it. To the darker side of Denis (that part of him that looked for every possible mechanical error that could go wrong), it looked like self-sabotage. But why anyone would choose to live that way mystified him, so instead he took each of his wife’s grievances seriously and did his best to put a positive spin on them. All part of the adjustment phase, a married coworker had assured him.
“I’ve made some plans for our anniversary today,” he said.
Alesha coughed up her coffee. “Today? But you never said anything.”
He shook his head proudly, “Nope. Surprise!”
“Well – that was – I had things I planned on doing – that’s very controlling.”
“What did you plan on doing?”
“Just errands, but what if I had had an appointment today?” Alesha asked.
Denis held a smile on his face stronger than the metal composite of rotor blades. He decided she had a point; this could come across as controlling. Except she usually complained about her errands: how difficult the librarian was, how her hairstylist hadn’t gotten the angles right, etc. He got it: his wife valued perfection, and anything less was pointless. As an engineer, he had to agree. However, he thought she might appreciate a day of pampering and devoted attention without worrying about schedules.
“Do you have an appointment today?” he asked.
“No, but still, it’s the principle—” she grouched.
“Don't you want to know what I have planned?” Denis interrupted cheerfully. He hoped to lead his wife on a new train of thought. Once she fixated on something she was dissatisfied with, she tended to sit there and worry over it like an all-but-invisible carpet stain.
Somewhat mellowed by the coffee, Alesha allowed him to save the mood.
“Yes, alright, what are we doing today?”
A short while later, they walked into the park, Denis carrying a stuffed picnic basket.
“There’s goose guano everywhere,” Alesha said. “Denis, don’t you think it’s irresponsible the town lets the geese run rampant? They should keep them in check.”
How was the town supposed to keep the geese in check, Denis wondered. Wasn’t that what geese did? Wandered where they would and pooped in parks?
His coworker had also told him that honesty and communication are essential for a healthy relationship with one’s spouse. Thus, it was very good, Denis thought, a healthy sign, that Alesha felt safe enough to express all her little foibles to him, her husband.
Perhaps he should express to his wife his confusion that she had bought strawberry jam when she did not prefer it. Watching Alesha pick her way through the poop bombs, her nose wrinkled in disgust, he decided against it. Perhaps it was not always the best thing to say whatever is on one's mind. You see Denis, despite being an optimistic sort of person, was also a gracious person who valued kindness and letting minor irritants go.
“I’m sorry Denis,” Alesha said when he merely forged on towards the pond, “They’ve ruined your plans for our special day.”
“Not at all my dear, we will simply adjust. We’ll eat lunch in the swan boats.”
“But what if it rains?” Alesha asked. She eyed the one white puff in the sky warily.
Despite Alesha’s many and loudly expressed concerns, both the Glasses successfully entered the boat and positioned the basket between them. It was an unsteady ride, as Alesha kept backpedaling at odd times, deciding they were going the wrong direction: the shore was getting too far away; there were too many lily pads in this area; or the actual, live swans were coming too close. Denis had been interested in seeing the latter two, but today wasn't just about him so he accommodated.
“No, I can’t paddle and eat, it’s making me car sick,” Alesha announced when she finally turned her attention to the basket. She closed her eyes and stuck her head between her knees. Denis paddled them to the shore, wondering all the while how someone could get car sick in a swan boat.
“Really Denis, I think we should just go home. I am not sitting on that grass,” Alesha said once they were both safely onshore.
“That’s alright, I see a bench over there. It’s right in the sun,” Denis said.
“It probably has poop on it too. Let’s go to the car, but let me eat first, I think that will help my nausea before we drive back to the apartment.”
Denis stood still, back to Alesha, straight as a turbine tower. Just like when the power was on, but before he started the engines, he trembled with voltage. So much wind blowing all over the earth, directing water, weather, shaping land; energy just waiting to be harnessed.
The vivid greens and browns of the park dulled suddenly as more clouds rolled in, muting the cheery blue sky into dull greys and whites.
"Denis, Denis – did you hear me? I just need to—"
The switch flipped. Denis turned on his wife.
“Do you enjoy living your life this way? Do you? Because I’m not enjoying it,” Denis said, harnessing one enormous swell.
She gaped at him as though he was a house cat who had suddenly turned into a lion before her eyes.
“What are you saying?” Alesha asked.
“I’m saying – stop whining. Every time you want to complain… don’t. I can’t take it anymore.” In the middle of his tirade, it occurred to Denis that no complaining at all – for a woman who did nothing but complain – might be an unrealistic standard. “You are allowed one complaint a day. I’m saying, lighten up!”
At that moment, the sky opened, and it poured on the Glasses. Alesha opened her mouth.
“Yes, I can see that it’s raining,” Denis snapped. He stomped off, strangely satisfied. After all, honesty and communication are essential for a healthy relationship with one’s spouse.
