Blind Spot
~Blind Spot~
Oh no. Jack’s chest tightened with excitement. He kept his eyes trained on the person in front of him. Out of his periphery, he watched the woman who had just entered the house.
Viv took her coat off and hung it with her purse by the door. She was carrying something.
The person in front of Jack stopped talking. Who was this? Ah, right, Lina, the birthday girl. Her house was filled with people shouting over the Spanish guitar music. The walls were hung with colorful fake flowers and streamers, guests held margaritas, and there was a spread of Mexican food in the kitchen.
“No, I mean I totally agree. How did you handle it?” Jack asked, barely whacking the conversational birdie back in play. Lina received it.
Cupcakes, Viv was carrying cupcakes. Blue frosting. He thought she wasn’t going to be here, convinced himself she wouldn’t be. Still, he couldn’t help thinking about her when he’d dressed for the party, or all day at work, his thoughts returning like a nervous tick. She was looking around. He should turn, greet her.
“Viv!” Derrick called. He went over and gave Viv a big hug.
What an ass. Jack forced himself to breathe and reminded himself that Derrick was his good friend of many years. That Derrick had known Viv for years too. And yet he only introduced us three months ago. Derrick guided her over.
Will she give me a hug? The thought terrified and enthralled him. Calm down.
He didn’t see why she wouldn’t, except they’d only met once, through Lina, three months earlier. She’d been niggling at the back of his mind ever since, but they had barely talked last time. He didn’t know what happened to him: it was like he had blacked out, gone temporarily stupid, unable to form basic sentences when Viv was in the room.
Speaking of basic sentences…
“That sounds really frustrating,” Jack said to Lina. She was recounting a work debacle. Thankfully there were two other women in the conversation, both of whom listened with rapt attention to their friend.
Viv was coming closer, cupcakes in hand.
That fast. She was past them in a breath, walking to the kitchen.
“Viv!” Lina shouted.
Viv turned, beaming, as though she had been on her way over to hug the birthday girl all along when Jack was certain that was not the case.
Lina gave Viv a hug, stopping the conversation and putting Jack only inches from this beautiful nervous woman. [MW1] Her hair was the shade of warm honey, and she was only a couple of inches shorter than him. He took a sip of his beer, keeping his face utterly relaxed, trying to ignore the pleasant scent that had just wafted over him.
Cinnamon, vanilla, chrysanthemum. What was it? He wasn’t affected. Not one little bit. He couldn’t form a coherent thought, but that was beside the point.
~
Lina hugged Viv and she forced herself to focus on her friend.
“Happy birthday!” Viv said, filling her voice with too much cheer.
Ignore him. Ignore him. Viv should have gotten an Academy Award for her performance. She had promised herself that Lina’s very attractive and very single friend would not be at the birthday party. Had reminded herself that it didn’t matter if he was there because he wasn’t interested in her. He had ignored her the whole time when they first met, at a trivia night a few months ago. Except —
He’s staring at me. She could feel it, some gut instinct that women possessed, a sixth sense that told them when a man was staring. She froze, a rabbit sensing it had been spotted. She forged onward, pretending nothing was amiss.
“Was it a good one?” Viv asked, filling her voice with sincerity.
She was good at sincere. A+ for sincerity. Her flirting skills, however, had never been quite up to mark. She always seemed to forget how to speak English when it was time to flirt.
“It’s about to be, now that you’re here,” Lina said.
“Hey!” one of the girls objected.
“Nice,” the other laughed.
Jack was quiet. Viv thought maybe he was smiling, but she couldn’t know because she hadn’t allowed herself to move her gaze from Lina’s bright smiling face.
“Have you guys met?” Lina asked. “This is Tricia and Iris.”
Viv reached out and shook the hands of the other two women, her heart pounding its way up her throat as she made her way around the conversational circle.
“And you guys met last time, at trivia night,” Lina said, gesturing to Jack.
“Oh, right!” Viv said, extending her hand. She finally allowed herself to look at him. Angular face, curly brown hair, magnetic hazel eyes. Those eyes met hers, and it was—of course—now when her brain decided to stop working. “You’re… Jim, right?” She squinted, playing off her temporary brain damage as a cute social foible.
Oh great. Look at me: I meet so many people and I’m so popular that I can’t keep names straight. It’s not like I’ve been thinking about you for the last three months.
“Jack,” he corrected.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” she said.
Please don’t hate me, I promise I’m not a snob. No — really, I’m not.
Jack’s grip was firm, and she found herself pathetically grateful that he hadn’t let go yet. He looked her straight in the eyes, and even though everything else had gone a little blurry and she knew she wouldn’t be able to recall the details of this interaction later, she just allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of being seen by him.
“And you’re… Valery, right?” he asked, squinting at her and tilting his head.
“Viv,” she said, laughing.
Fair enough. Why should he remember her? She knew she wasn’t at his level, summoning the attention in the room like he did. But his smile was friendly, and he met her eyes, so maybe they could be friends. Of course not. You can’t think straight around him.
“Let’s get you a drink,” Lina said, hooking her arm through Viv’s.
Yes. Let’s.
~
She didn’t remember me. Heat prickled across the back of Jack’s neck and a pang soured in his stomach, quickly spreading into nausea
Lina tugged Viv away.
I’m chill, it’s cool. All good, why would she?
Jack took another swig of beer, trying to smother the deflating balloon in his chest. What a woman; warm brown eyes that made him melt, a perfectly proportional oval face, a small nose with a delicate curve. If she was at all interested, he would know, obviously. He had a radar for these things. As it was, she was out of his league, she didn’t even consider him.
Can’t blame a guy for having good taste.
He threw himself back into the conversation with renewed enthusiasm. He was fine, he had forgotten all about her. All the while one part of him stayed tuned to the direction of the kitchen, where Lina had taken the beautiful Miss Viv.
Knock it off! You’re not a puppy in high school. You’re a serious professional. You’ve dated many women. But the women he asked out had never before left him dry-mouthed, lost for words, and mildly nauseous for some unexplainable reason. The other women had been more of a passing interest, intriguing because they were objectively beautiful. By contrast, Viv had teased his thoughts for the last three months. Jack glanced over his shoulder, in the direction of the kitchen.
Stop it!
“Do you want to go sit down?” he asked the two women. They moved to the living room, which put him out of sight of the kitchen.
Distance. Distance will help. It’s a proximity thing. He rallied himself.
More people joined them in the living room and thankfully, the volume grew louder. With more friends present it was easier to distract himself, cracking jokes and laughing too loudly, which he covered up by laughing louder still.
Knock it off, he ordered himself. Instead, he beamed so broadly he thought his face would crack. But he just couldn’t help himself. It was like another man had possessed his body, nervous energy sending him zigzagging between laughing too loud and smiling too big. He finally found a happy medium by talking too fast.
Viv came by, and he felt himself poise (in relief) to turn to her and make another valiant stab at conversation. She put down a plate with chips and salsa, and a pile of napkins.
“Oh, yes! Thank you!” the others said.
Jack kept himself in rapt attention to the woman sitting on the couch next to him, beaming. He kept his eyes glued on this other, ignoring Viv as if she were the help. He was utterly rigid in his relaxed pose, nodding along as if engrossed in conversation. Then Viv was gone.
~
Go over there! Go. Go! Sit down over there. Maybe you could talk to him.
Viv sipped her drink and threw herself into a conversation with a different man.
No! If I do that, I’ll look pathetic, clingy. Like I’m waiting for him to talk to me.
She dared a glance toward the living room. Two more women had congregated around Jack. Like flies to honey. Perhaps that was unkind. Of course they wanted to talk to Jack. He emanated masculinity and was (by far) the most handsome man in the room. Besides that, he carried a personal magnetism.
See! Look. All those women are running to him. If you go over there, he’s going to know he’s got you on a hook and he can keep his options open.
Viv supposed that wasn’t strictly fair. She didn’t really know Jack. But she was not going to be just ‘one more woman’ that fluttered around him. She did her best to focus on only the person right in front of her. The conversations dragged and she found herself wishing for a way out. When there was a lull, she placed her hand on the arm of the woman talking.
“So sorry, I need a drink refresh.” She ducked out and went to the kitchen. The margarita was beginning to hit her and make her head pound. Food. She needed food and water. She filled her plate with two chicken tacos, got a glass of water, and stopped.
She just couldn’t go back out there, face more banal conversation. Force herself to nod and smile and balance her plate and drink while she tried to eat standing. No, she needed a quiet place to sit and eat and restore her energy.
Thankfully there was another exit from the kitchen. She snuck out onto Lina’s back porch where she knew there would be a table…
She stopped short on the threshold to the door outside. There were already two people out here, and of course one of them was Jack. They were talking quietly.
“Oh, sorry,” she mumbled, turning to leave.
“Viv! Come out here,” Derrick called, pulling out the chair next to him.
“You sure? Seems like you guys are having a serious conversation.”
“No way, definitely sit,” Jack said. He almost looked at her, and then didn’t.
Viv sank into the deck chair, trying to make herself invisible. This man wouldn’t give her a second glance. It made her feel small, inconsequential, but at this point she was too hungry to care. She shivered as she ate.
String lights over the back deck created a cozy cocoon, but it was cold out here. She should have grabbed her coat. She should go back in, but she didn’t want to give up the opportunity to be close to Jack and maybe get to know him a little better. She ate her tacos and resigned herself to shivering.
“Dude, are you cold?” Derrick asked. Derrick was wearing a t-shirt, but being well built, looked perfectly comfortable in the night air.
“Yeah. I need to go get my coat,” she admitted, pushing back her chair.
Derrick waved her down. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll get it.”
Derrick was already half up when Viv realized that Jack was shrugging off his coat. He passed it across the table to her.
“Oh, wow, thanks. Are you sure?” she asked, stunned. Her face grew warm.
“Definitely.” Jack nodded.
Jack and Derrick immediately returned to their conversation, talking about the various uses AI could have in futures, and how it might change the economy. How they’d already seen it changing things.
Eating the tacos helped. Her head stopped pounding, and she found herself watching Jack. She had to be careful; she could only look at him when he was speaking. Her initial glances, that brief handshake, were not disappointed with the opportunity to really take him in. The dim lighting threw dramatic shadows over his face and yet, talking to his friend instead of a gaggle of women, there was something… soft about him. Unpretentious. Relaxed.
Eventually, more people found their way out onto the deck. Lina came, claiming the seat next to Viv, and the presence of the birthday girl attracted the rest of the party. Then someone lit sparklers, stuck them in the birthday cake, and led a bracing chorus of “Happy Birthday.”
The sparklers flickered and fizzed directly before Viv on the table as they sang to Lina.
The night was dark and, in the chaos of people and noise, he wouldn’t see. She looked up, and Jack was watching her, not singing. The sparkler cast a warm glow on his face. She held his gaze, losing herself in the flickering colors in his eyes. Then, she looked down, embarrassed at being caught.
But wait… he was looking too.
She glanced back up, meeting his eyes, searching them.
Everyone cheered, Jack looked away, and Lina blew out the candles as hard as she could. The sparklers ignored her efforts and burned out on their own.
The cake was cut and passed out. It was getting late, so Viv finished her slice, gave Lina her present and a tight hug, and then escaped back inside.
Jack had disappeared in the chaos of cake being handed out. She needed to give him back his jacket, but she could always just leave it in the living room if she couldn’t find him.
He was in the living room.
It’s fine, just leave it on the couch.
Coward. Another voice accused her. She was willing to accept that assessment.
She went to the coat rack, took off Jack’s coat, and donned her own with her purse. She held his. What if he didn’t know where she put it? What if someone else grabbed it by accident? It just seemed… ungrateful.
Oh, fine!
~
When she called his name, he couldn’t help looking up. It was too quick. She hadn’t been speaking all that loud.
You shouldn’t have been able to hear her. Not unless you were tuned to her every movement, waiting for her to speak.
Viv looked startled when his gaze snapped to hers. He kicked himself. She held up his coat and mouthed thank you. At this point, however, she might as well have said it out loud. The others around him had fallen silent, realizing there was another conversation happening.
She draped his coat on the back of the couch and escaped out the front door.
Damn… Damn!
Once again, the small bubble of hope that had ballooned in his chest felt squashed down from every side. But… she had met his eyes. He’d been so nervous when she caught him looking at her, but then she looked back.
He glanced at his watch.
“Sorry guys, I got to head out too,” he said. He gave hugs as quickly as he could without being rude before grabbing his coat and rushing out the door.
Viv was only down to the front walk. At the sound of the door closing, she glanced back at him.
“You had the right idea,” he said, shrugging on his coat and joining her, nonchalant. “Come late, leave early.”
She cracked a smile. “I’m glad my tardiness comes off as very cool,” she said. They meandered. “Which direction is your car?”
“That way.” He pointed behind them. She laughed.
That’s right, I’m chivalrous and funny. Two for one, not to mention devastatingly good-looking.
She stopped. “I don’t want to take you from your car.”
“Aaah.” He waved her off, “It’s fine.” They kept walking.
“So, you seemed to know a lot of people there tonight.”
He shrugged. “Just a handful. What about you?”
“I’ve known Lina and Derrick since college.”
She stopped in front of a small green sedan.
“This is me, thanks for walking me.”
“Sure thing,” he said. He didn’t move. Couldn’t make himself move.
“I’m surprised we haven’t met before now,” she said.
“Oh, we did. Three months ago, trivia, remember? Also, I’m Jack,” he said slowly.
She grinned and smacked him in the chest. “I know, I know, okay?”
They smiled at each other, neither knowing how to end the conversation.
“Alright, well, I’ll see you around,” he said, turning his body to her and wondering how she was going to respond. She spread her arms wide for a hug.
“Yeah, hopefully,” she said.
He gave her the briefest of hugs and then stepped back. Walking backward in a pre-emptive retreat, as if it didn’t matter, as if he wasn’t putting it all on the line and trying not to hurl at the same time, he said,
“We should get coffee sometime.”
“Yeah.” She pulled her keys out, grinning. “I would like that. I would like that a lot.”
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Nice story 👍👍