LOTS OF FREE READING BELOW
Dear Reader,
Happy Holidays! I hope your Christmas season is off to a lovely start. As I write to you, I currently have no gifts wrapped, owing to the particular obstacle that they have not been purchased. I know all of you can’t possibly identify with my tardiness.
I’m thrilled to report that applying to all of the writing competitions is finally paying off. Thanks to my participation in the Launch Pad Prose Competition, I have made it onto Coverfly’s Red List for “Best Fantasy Novel/Manuscript of All Time.” I’m quite pleased, and excited to move forward with this and other creative projects. Rest assured that when MONARCH is ready to be published, you will hear about it here.
It’s been two whole months since I landed in Los Angeles, but it feels like a lifetime. I moved in just six days after turning 30, and the timing felt fortuitous. A new decade of life launched in a brand new city. The beginning of an era.
So, how has it been? Remarkable. I am blown away by the quality of the people I meet. I’m sure you have heard the entertainment industry is a business of who you know. As such, yours truly has attended many (MANY) networking events in the last few weeks. My small-talk skills are honed and ready to go.
After talking to countless new people, I realized I am not good at talking about myself. Don’t roll your eyes at me: yes, I know I run a monthly newsletter, demanding your attention twice a month (thrice for paying subscribers). Close friends back in Connecticut would balk at me writing this, but there is a difference between sharing who you are with someone who already knows and likes you, and a complete stranger.
I’m much more comfortable with asking about YOU, showing an interest in who you are, and frankly, I’m good at it. I’m a writer: I have questions. So for those of you whose skin crawls at the thought of networking, and making small talk with complete strangers, I have a few notes for you.
Everybody is Nervous. If people are at a networking event, they want to meet new people, just like you. We are all feeling social stress. Everyone is excited when somebody new wants to talk with them, even if they are already talking with someone. I’ve noticed people are happy to absorb a new member on the spot. Why? Because we all want to make connections, and maybe you are that person.
Awkward Small Talk. Not sure where to start in the conversation? People love talking about themselves. Ask them where they come from, what they do for work, and what they are hoping to do in the future. From this, the conversation should flow enough for you to ask deeper questions about their life.
Be ready to pitch yourself. By pitch, I mean give a snapshot of who you are and what you care about. If people don’t really know you, how can you connect about what matters? The key is storytelling, and I don’t mean the long epic saga of your life from birth till now. People just want the highlights, strung together in a quick meaningful narrative. What is the back cover blurb of your life? Make it enticing so people will want to read on.
After several failed attempts to pitch myself, I finally realized I needed to practice it. Like any good writer, I sat down and wrote a brief blurb on who I was, why I’m out here, and what makes me more than just another writer in the vast pool of wannabe screenwriters. Then I practiced.
Practice is key. If you practice, you can deliver bits and pieces of your narrative, your “you-ness,” in engaging ways that don’t feel rehearsed. You are not delivering a monologue. People have their own lives to attend to. After doing this a few times, I finally figured out (from the eyes glazing over) that people don’t care. Why would they? So instead: the elevator pitch. Give them the singular juicy detail about yourself that might make them want to know more. See that gleam in their eyes? Got ‘em.
The Follow-Up. You already put in all the effort to get out there: dressed up, put on makeup or cologne, hunted for parking along LA streets like a squirrel hunting for nuts in a Canadian winter, braced yourself, and forged into the awkward social situation of a crowded room WHERE YOU KNOW NO ONE. Major kudos to you. You even walked up to a random person (or group of people) that didn’t look too threatening and engaged in a conversation. Maybe you even pitched yourself. Now, the handoff. This is important. Two things:
Business cards are great. They’re clean, quick, and without fail, everyone is super impressed I have them. I don’t include my phone number on it, because stalkers, but dealer’s choice. This is a great place to include a personal flare. Share a little of your voice, who you are, in the design of the card. You are giving them an impression of you, and your professionalism.
Say, “I’d love to get your information.” This could be social media or a phone number. As long as you are not creepy, people tend to be flattered. The issue with handing someone a business card is that 9 out of 10 times, they never follow up with you. The impetus is on YOU to make the connection. So get their number, and text them immediately with your first and last name because you are meeting a lot of new people, and chances are you will forget who they are. I like to send a personal text message about how great it was to meet them at (insert event) and best of luck with (occupation), or even that you’d love to get coffee soon to discuss (whatever you connected over). This note is gold when you go through your texts the next day trying to remember who all these new people are.
Here’s the deal: deep relationships don’t happen in these networking events. Nope. It’s just dipping a toe into the social waters, getting your face seen so that you might be recognized the next time, and tilling the soil for future growth. We’re all looking for that spark of connection with someone we might want to get coffee with later. Initial impressions are a small but vital part of building an acquaintance that might yield fruit later on. So relax, get yourself out there, and make some friends.
Happy Christmas,
S. C. Durbois